Getting Back Up

Going through breakups or disappointments in life can really knock a person down. I know that this is true for me. Sometimes we can act too quickly due to the person’s vibe they give off, because of our own ideas in our head or maybe things just did not work out. That is okay. But what next?

I know that this is true for me. I have become soo used to being let down that sometimes I self-destruct: you know acting out because of what my interpretation of the situation is (I am working on that). It is easy to get into a mindset of blaming one’s self and asking what is wrong with me?

However, It is essential to first remind yourself that, the actions of the other person has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.  Some people jump into things knowing that they do not see a long-term future with you but somehow forget to make you aware of that or maybe there were red flags that we just did not pick up. I don’t believe people get into a relationship or begin dating with the intent of stringing one along. I think for some people, they just somehow fall into it. It doesn’t make it right but it is what it is and we must acknowledge that.We don’t know why love or happiness finds others more easily, but we must know that at the right time, what is ours will present itself to us.

When it comes to heartbreaks, I have recently had to learn that you can have all the qualities needed to be a good girlfriend or to be considered as “wifey material” but often we forget we can possess these qualities and not be the one that someone needs- or be suitable for the person that we want. Sometimes we also forget that in today’s society, on the forefront, we are probably so alike to others and we don’t know it. Therefore, we are not the only ones who possess these qualities. It makes finding just one person who will see the uniqueness in us that much more difficult.It is not impossible, though. It just means we have to play the field much better than we are doing now.

It is important though that in the days or months following a breakup we use the time to invest in us. Go out more, invest in experiences, learning a new skill, picking up a new hobby. I choose to pamper myself with pedicures, going to new restaurants and having a fun day with my girls. I also began to learn Spanish using the Babbel app. It does not have to be expensive- as long as it gets you back on your feet. The kind of things that give us something new to go into the next relationship or season with. Heck. Love on yourself

However, I believe that the most important thing we need to get us back on our feet is friendships/ sisterhoods/brotherhoods. I think we sometimes underestimate the power of solid and fruitful friendships and relationships in our lives. For me, I bask in the relationship with my mother, my best friend and inner circle of friends. To have people who constantly reassure you, encourage you and take the time to lift you out of a low mood is truly amazing.

I have also found strength in running back to my faith. The relationship between human and God is meant to be a personal one, I believe. One that is always developing and improving. It is not always perfect, But it is constant. There are many times in the bible that God reassures us of who we are and what God thinks is much more important to me than what man thinks. Just because we have messed up does not mean God will turn against us. Rather he encourages us to run to him with our mess and watch him turn it around. Be careful though not to take advantage of this mercy. God calls me loved, blessed, made in his creation. It is important for me to speak these positive things over my heart.

It is okay to be knocked down BUT it is not okay to stay down. In doing all this, take the time to cry if you have to. Don’t be in such a rush. Take the time to enjoy this new period of growth. You can do this.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”

-Psalm 147:3

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